Nowadays, I feel so unsettled, like I'm rootless. I don't really have strong relationships with anyone simply because I only see most people about four times a year and have terrible time keping in touch with old friends. My concept of home has become a "grey area." I have a hard time feeling grateful anytime I have a change of scenery. On top of that, I'm constantly poor, which kinda sucks. Bourgeois kids just aren't raised to have budgets and make sacrifices.
These uncomfortable feelings really bitch-slapped me in the face a few days ago. I got in a fight with my parents after they let my brother drive the family truck to the U of Alberta campus to drop off his writing portfolio, while I took the bus there just two hours earlier to do homework. My mom got mad a t me and awkwardly described me a "Toronto Snob who intentionally acted like he wasn't part of the family." She apologized almost immediately and has been especially nice to me since then, waking up early to make me breakfast smoothies and letting me drive her Toyota.
To be honest though, it didn't really offend me. Well, the part about hating my family offended me, but I actually took the "Toronto Snob" name as a compliment. I've never actually lived in the city, but I wouldn't hesitate to pack up and go there after my undergrad. But whyyy you might ask???
Well for starters, Toronto is actually a city. Edmonton might legally be a city, but it's not actually a city. Relatively speaking, Edmonton is small. Only a million people are brave enough to live this far north, and for some reason they all feel they need to live on a half-acre of cheap land and still have a 20-minute commute as their reward. Our only claim to fame is a shopping mall, a decrepite shrine to capitalism and over-consumption. And it's not even a nice mall......
On the other hand, Toronto has a lot going for it. It's Canada's largest city and one of the most multicultural cities in the world. They actually consider social progress and sustainable living to be a good thing, rather than some toxic evil that's just going to make it harder to drive your Hummer H2 to work.
What is a city though? I live in the GTA and I'll tell you Oakville is suburban hell and I'm only 30 minutes from downtown TO. I find it interesting how pretty much everyone I know seems to hate their hometown. Maybe its just the repressed memories and the determination to not be like our parents but its interesting how we all end up with different conclusions. I'm from Ottawa and I hate the atmosphere of bureaucracy and mediocrity yet friends describe it as an amazing place that they'd move to in a heartbeat. I on the other hand generally detest Toronto, Ottawa and Ontario in general. Why? It just seems like the spark and desire for something better has left this place and has been replaced with stagnation and the acceptance of mediocrity. Edmonton I found had life and a yearning to grow, evolve and be something more. Canadian cities in general are nothing in the worldly context so why even try? Our whole country's ultimately a joke to the world as 'that nice, quiet country' anyway. I argue that anything in North America really isn't worth saving at the rate we're going.
ReplyDeleteEdmonton's waterfront doesn't look like Toronto's or Vancouver's. Nor should it. The River Valley system is something that is and should be cherished and protected just as Ottawa has found with its trail and parkway systems. Green will never go out of style, what hopefully will however is people being obsessed with their personal postage stamp of green in exchange for the common marvels of public spaces just like the Edmonton river valley. At least Edmonton has real plans for LRT and transit in its city and outlying areas unlike half of Ontario that hasn't changed since the 1950s. Finally, as for being a transient (as I call myself who's in the same predicament) It does suck. I've tried to make the most of it by traveling and experiencing everything I can with the time and while it is hard, in my opinion living back at home is almost more so. Loneliness and awkwardness - they'll follow you anywhere no matter how fast and far you run.